Raising a Difficult Child

My oldest is name Nathan is 3 going to be 4. He is difficult. I love him alot he is my first born. He has very poor impulse control and he has a short attention span. ADD ADHD and Dyslexia runs on sides of hubby and I's family trees. I am not LOOKING for problems with Nathan I would much rather him not have any problems but I mean thats like every other parent.

I can not NOT look for signs just because I dont want there to be any. I wouldnt be doing Nathan justice if I did that. He deserves to have the best education and the best childhood that I can give him and that means not glossing over his bad behavior and blaming it on outside influences or even trying to blame whatever disorder he may or may not have for his behavior.

I have been examining his behavior more and more especially since I remembered about these books I use to read called Ramona where Ramona was a very very active child who was constantly getting into trouble. Nathan is a male version of Ramona. There is some kind of writing on every wall in this house. He cant seem to make himself stop doing things he knows he gets in trouble for. Like waking up at night or early in the morning to get things out of the kitchen to eat...even when he is not really hungry. I am barely sleeping from trying to deal with all of this.

When I tell him to stop doing something I either have to say it over and over again or physically take him to do whatever it is that needs to be done.

Dont get me wrong he is way better than he was a couple months ago. I cut out the afternoon nap to stop him from getting up at night. He gets only fruit and such for snacks. We put him in Karate to help with socializing and listening to other adults. It seems like there is nothing that seems to get through to him when it comes to him doing things that he is not suppose to do the consequences are consistant but it's like he forgets them or ignores them.

I was thinking about having him tested.....What if I am overeacting? what if I am not? I was talking to my mother about the fact that if he did have a problem and we didnt see him improving in the school situation that I would just use my teaching degree to homeschool Nathan. This turned into a discussion about how it was a really bad idea because I would be trying keep him to myself...which if you know me you know that this is not true. I feel like school is for learning and that it's not for socializing. My main concern is that he gets the kind of teachers my brother had and he gets nothing out of school. I do not want him to lose his joy of learning because he had to deal with teachers who can not handle a child with disabilites along with the other 20 kids in the class. I feel it would be in his best intrest to homeschool IF he turns out to be a kid who needs more one on one help.

Alot of this comes from the fact that we cant afford a private school that would have the lower numbers a child like that would need and I know how to make money from home so I can make that part work. So then my mom tells me he NEEDS to interact with other kids and adults. I know this which is why he would be involved in Karate or another sport or boy scouts he can go to the YMCA (if we are in the states) he would play outside with other kids we go on field trips and most important he would go AWAY from me lol. Homeschooling has nothing to do with keeping him near me because trust me I would much rather he go to school But children with learning and emotional and even physcial disabilites are just not getting the kind of attention they need in school and often their education is lacking. I refuse to leave it up to the schools to teach my children anything when it's also my job to get involved and to step in and make sure that he gets a good education. If I didnt think I was capable of doing it I would do everything in my power to find a way to make sure he got a good eduation SOMEWHERE. I want him to be successful in life not struggling and worried that he wont be able to make it because he has a hard time with his learning problems.

My mom used my brother as an example of why Nate should go to school even if he is doing poorly.....but my brother hated school became a terror on two legs and I had to teach him to read because he just couldnt get the hang of it and my mom had no patiences for it. It's not her fault there are people who are just not meant to teach. James is anti-social (like her) and is very very embarassed of his learning disabilities and has never really learned how to learn despite them. He only learns what he wants to learn and no more because he actually gets no joy from it. It makes me sad because he is freaking brilliant but his early experiances with teachers and learning have made him dislike it so so much.

Maybe my views are just extreme because of the experiance of watching my brother struggle so much. I am not making this decision lightly I have looked in to everything but are you ever sure your not doing something to mess your childrens minds up?

Just a regular day in the neighborhood

So today is a bit boring I have been cleaning and speaking with children who dont understand anything I am saying nor do they care unless it's about them getting somethin to eat or drink. My husband took off and went to France with some friends for the weekend. I trust him really I do. But I am a normal woman who decides to think about all the horrible thing that could happen while he is gone and worry myself to death....Cause I am a weirdo and that is what I do.



I worry about every possible thing that could go wrong because some how that is suppose to actually stop the bad things from happening.



So anyways today and yesterday since the hubby left on his trip has been shit filled. I mean my oldest did it and then the youngest and then the dog. See she thinks if she pisses all over the floor after we have just come back in that it will make me love her more. But I am sorry to tell her it does not work hat way. You have to keep my just mopped floor clean in order for me to love you.



So I am going to be all kinds of busy this year with taking 4 classes at WCU and then 2 classes at GCCC just to make sure I get my school work done. I want to b graduated and getting ready to work at a school so bad or to be teaching a pre-k program but I have two lil crazy people of my own that I have to take care of along with my husband.



Now I love my children and my husband with all my heart



But sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not joined the military. I feel like my life took the turn it did because of that very decision that very decision to join the military. What if I had stayed home and got a job and gone to college? Would I have ended up with my mom in VA? I dont like VA.....would I have been happy? How long would I have been single?

I dont even know if I would have been happy. I know people say they are happy when they were single...but wasnt I always knew that even if didnt have children I wanted to havea husband I wanted a family. Not all families include children so I understood that. I just wanted to have someone to take care of someone I loved who loved me and wanted to take care of me...even when I am not good at letting people actually take care of me.

I dont know sometimes driving might be my worst enemy that is when I think of all this stuff lol.