We Three Super Thieves

My office is in an all glass building. I want to know what the person who thought of this was thinking? I can’t even wear a skirt to work because the pervert on the floor below me could look up my skirt and see what kind of underwear I had put on. Which would disappoint him at any rate because my underwear are vastly uninteresting.

I am sitting in my office looking outside and thinking how gloomy it looked. All my co workers were bustling around finishing up work so that they could go home to their various families and friends. I had nothing, I had chosen to lead a normal life. One that did not involve me running from cops. Which meant that I had to leave my life long friends behind. The person I was actually sad about leaving behind was the man that no one ever quite measured up too.

I try to tell myself that it was just sex and that I was just missing him because he provided great sex…but I don’t think that was it at all. The man made me laugh, he was brilliant our conversations are what turned me on about him. OK Shawn, get a grip. I do this every Friday. I get so lonely and I start to think about my old life and friends and love and I want to take off my expensive pant suit and six inch heels and just jet off.

The ground begins to rumble and I look to the left..through the building on the left came a force of water, one big stream headed straight at me. Instead of being dead, I am lying on my side looking up at the very face I was just thinking about..

“Hello Beautiful, you can’t die yet I need you”
Well Shit.

Raising a Difficult Child

My oldest is name Nathan is 3 going to be 4. He is difficult. I love him alot he is my first born. He has very poor impulse control and he has a short attention span. ADD ADHD and Dyslexia runs on sides of hubby and I's family trees. I am not LOOKING for problems with Nathan I would much rather him not have any problems but I mean thats like every other parent.

I can not NOT look for signs just because I dont want there to be any. I wouldnt be doing Nathan justice if I did that. He deserves to have the best education and the best childhood that I can give him and that means not glossing over his bad behavior and blaming it on outside influences or even trying to blame whatever disorder he may or may not have for his behavior.

I have been examining his behavior more and more especially since I remembered about these books I use to read called Ramona where Ramona was a very very active child who was constantly getting into trouble. Nathan is a male version of Ramona. There is some kind of writing on every wall in this house. He cant seem to make himself stop doing things he knows he gets in trouble for. Like waking up at night or early in the morning to get things out of the kitchen to eat...even when he is not really hungry. I am barely sleeping from trying to deal with all of this.

When I tell him to stop doing something I either have to say it over and over again or physically take him to do whatever it is that needs to be done.

Dont get me wrong he is way better than he was a couple months ago. I cut out the afternoon nap to stop him from getting up at night. He gets only fruit and such for snacks. We put him in Karate to help with socializing and listening to other adults. It seems like there is nothing that seems to get through to him when it comes to him doing things that he is not suppose to do the consequences are consistant but it's like he forgets them or ignores them.

I was thinking about having him tested.....What if I am overeacting? what if I am not? I was talking to my mother about the fact that if he did have a problem and we didnt see him improving in the school situation that I would just use my teaching degree to homeschool Nathan. This turned into a discussion about how it was a really bad idea because I would be trying keep him to myself...which if you know me you know that this is not true. I feel like school is for learning and that it's not for socializing. My main concern is that he gets the kind of teachers my brother had and he gets nothing out of school. I do not want him to lose his joy of learning because he had to deal with teachers who can not handle a child with disabilites along with the other 20 kids in the class. I feel it would be in his best intrest to homeschool IF he turns out to be a kid who needs more one on one help.

Alot of this comes from the fact that we cant afford a private school that would have the lower numbers a child like that would need and I know how to make money from home so I can make that part work. So then my mom tells me he NEEDS to interact with other kids and adults. I know this which is why he would be involved in Karate or another sport or boy scouts he can go to the YMCA (if we are in the states) he would play outside with other kids we go on field trips and most important he would go AWAY from me lol. Homeschooling has nothing to do with keeping him near me because trust me I would much rather he go to school But children with learning and emotional and even physcial disabilites are just not getting the kind of attention they need in school and often their education is lacking. I refuse to leave it up to the schools to teach my children anything when it's also my job to get involved and to step in and make sure that he gets a good education. If I didnt think I was capable of doing it I would do everything in my power to find a way to make sure he got a good eduation SOMEWHERE. I want him to be successful in life not struggling and worried that he wont be able to make it because he has a hard time with his learning problems.

My mom used my brother as an example of why Nate should go to school even if he is doing poorly.....but my brother hated school became a terror on two legs and I had to teach him to read because he just couldnt get the hang of it and my mom had no patiences for it. It's not her fault there are people who are just not meant to teach. James is anti-social (like her) and is very very embarassed of his learning disabilities and has never really learned how to learn despite them. He only learns what he wants to learn and no more because he actually gets no joy from it. It makes me sad because he is freaking brilliant but his early experiances with teachers and learning have made him dislike it so so much.

Maybe my views are just extreme because of the experiance of watching my brother struggle so much. I am not making this decision lightly I have looked in to everything but are you ever sure your not doing something to mess your childrens minds up?

Just a regular day in the neighborhood

So today is a bit boring I have been cleaning and speaking with children who dont understand anything I am saying nor do they care unless it's about them getting somethin to eat or drink. My husband took off and went to France with some friends for the weekend. I trust him really I do. But I am a normal woman who decides to think about all the horrible thing that could happen while he is gone and worry myself to death....Cause I am a weirdo and that is what I do.



I worry about every possible thing that could go wrong because some how that is suppose to actually stop the bad things from happening.



So anyways today and yesterday since the hubby left on his trip has been shit filled. I mean my oldest did it and then the youngest and then the dog. See she thinks if she pisses all over the floor after we have just come back in that it will make me love her more. But I am sorry to tell her it does not work hat way. You have to keep my just mopped floor clean in order for me to love you.



So I am going to be all kinds of busy this year with taking 4 classes at WCU and then 2 classes at GCCC just to make sure I get my school work done. I want to b graduated and getting ready to work at a school so bad or to be teaching a pre-k program but I have two lil crazy people of my own that I have to take care of along with my husband.



Now I love my children and my husband with all my heart



But sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not joined the military. I feel like my life took the turn it did because of that very decision that very decision to join the military. What if I had stayed home and got a job and gone to college? Would I have ended up with my mom in VA? I dont like VA.....would I have been happy? How long would I have been single?

I dont even know if I would have been happy. I know people say they are happy when they were single...but wasnt I always knew that even if didnt have children I wanted to havea husband I wanted a family. Not all families include children so I understood that. I just wanted to have someone to take care of someone I loved who loved me and wanted to take care of me...even when I am not good at letting people actually take care of me.

I dont know sometimes driving might be my worst enemy that is when I think of all this stuff lol.

Gossip n' Such

Ok so I was just on the phone with my mom talking about people who gossip about stars and make a living off of it. Then she starts to talk about someone named Wendy Williams. So then I wanted to know who this person is why my mother is calling her a poor version of me.

Now first of all if she is a poor version of me then she HAS to be broke because my husband is in the military...I am not making any special money honey. So anyways I am trying to figure outhow ths chick is like me and I pull up a picture of this woman with big blonde hair.

I am offended

I do not want her to be called a poor mans tessie. We dont seem to have anything in common. I guess maybe she tries to be a lady and such and her demeaner *at least to my mom* is protrayed as fake. In the end I cant make too many judgements about the woman I have not watched her show and I dont really care too. There are enough celebrity shows on tv I dont need to watch this.

I am sure her feelings are not hurt because I dont feel the need to watch a big blonde black chick insult rich people.
So anyways I have been working very hard on various projects and none of them include my math class which am failing so I have stopped going...because thats what we should all do when we can not pass a class we should stop going.

I have watched some movies recently

Dream girls would be the one that stood out the most for me. Oh my gosh I dint want to see it because I thought it wouldnt be any good. But man oh man was I wrong it was awesome I couldnt stop watching it or wanting jen hudson's character to get back on her feet! The singing was very awesome. I loved all the songs they were all very awesome. I would recommend this movie to others to watch. Costumes and voices and filming. When Eddie Murphy's character was dumped so cruel like I wanted to reach into the tv and hug him and tell him it would be ok you cheating bastard!. I loved it.

I am currently dealing with school right now it's hard trying to get your teaching degree online but I might be able to do it if the school works with me so wish me luck!

Kindermusik blog gone wrong...

So I am trying to write a kindermusik blog about starting up my job and everything and it's not showing up on the search engines. It's crazy I tell you lol. How do I get people to want to come to the website if they cant even find it and if they cant find it I cant drum up any business. Then there is the bigger issues of then I am blogging for no one. But wait lol I am blogging for no one here huh?

So here is my problem how do I drum up traffic to two sites that are not being crawled? I dont know give me a day or two to figure it out. Meanwhile I am trying to do some more tutoring but I am not sure if I should I worry about it when school is starting next month and when I am going to be starting work here soon. I think I might just keep my one student and just leave it alone. I dont know I will do I will think about it tomorrow lol.

reposting

Hi there I love to repost my blogs!

Delayed postings

I suppose since I have no followers no one cares if my postings are late do they lol. I have been busy tutoring and training for my kindermusik class and trying not to fail this math class too horribly. The kids and I have been having an awesome time together since my fcc was shut down. Money has been VERY tight. Joe has been freaking out about it. Which has frankly been gettingon my nerves.

Love the man but I am trying my best to help us out. He just needs to breathe and calm the hell down. Nathan has been very sad since our neighbors moved but been very happy about his birthday coming up. He asked to have a diego birthday which I am very happy to give him since his daddy had to work last year. And by work I mean he was deployed it was very sad and I felt bad about it but it worked out pretty good. As
you can see from the pictures.

We are currently trying to move off base so we can have a backyard and the boys can run around and play. I thought I would make friend easily if stayed on base but really I am just not good at making friends with girls. I get nervous they dont like me that they dont want to talk to

me. I mean really the drama is too much for melol

well I will be able to talk to everyone laters I am off to bed.

Being Educated and Black i

So I was leaving my math class (that I am taking for the third time) and I see many black men and women with music blaring, and hats tipped to the side, baggy clothes and such leaving the school house along with me. Now this is something that happens every tuesday and thursday and something that I am use to since I have been around black men and women who value education.

This got me to thinking about the portrayal of blacks in the media. Whenever you watch shows about a black man or woman who has made it they are portrayed as a person who forgot where they came from, someone who has no idea what it's like to struggle because they are a pampered person of color who has the cushion of money to shield them from the ugly in life or the stuck up black person who looks down their noses at their own race.

I am not sure when it became ok to put ourselves down in this fashion but I despise the way not just black people but other people of color are portrayed in the media when they make it and are successful. I feel like these images are holding us back and also it is stopping America from moving passed the hurt of racism.

Now I am done with that

I watched the movie Baby on Board-Now I am usually ok with these types of movies but half way through I found myself wanting it to be over. The fact that they didnt talk about ANYTHING and kept just assuming that the other was doing wrong because their friends were having a hard time just made the movie feel low budget. Does anyone know if this movie was a tv movie? Heather Graham usually does these types of movies from jerry o'connell I am not sure actually why I expect so much from him....it might be because of the crush I have had on him since that show My Secret Identity you know you remember that show! Over all the movie was not all that great I am sorry to say but If you must see it I suggest you do something entertaining at the same time...like read a book, clip your toe nails.....brush your dogs teeth because all of those would be more fun then watching this movie again.

I also saw the nastiest pair of saggy balls in this movie EVER. Told my hubby if his ever get that saggy we are gonna have to get him a pair of ball bras.....

I think too much

I have gone this whole week thinking I have forgotten things. It's not a pleasant feeling to think that you have forgotten to do things you consider important to you. Well anyways I have been working hard doing my spouses group and working on becoming a kindermusik teacher. This job I think will be good because I will be able to make money three days a week while the boys are in school. I will then be done in enough time to pick them up and focus on them.

I had a comment made about Joe the other day. It kinda made me think I mean I know Joe does not take the boys outside alot but he works 12 hours a day and when he comes home it's bedtime. When he is off we spend time together but he does spend time with them outside but he also spends time with them in the house. Well you probably want to know about the comment. Well the comment was about the fact that Joe wants Nate to have a real baseball glove so he can play catch with nathan and then I was told that Joe does not take the boys out anyway so it does not matter what kind of baseball mitt I buy nate. I became slightly offended . Joe is an excellent father I know he worries about it constantly but he really is a great father. Nate and Lucas yell for him all the time and are upset when he does not come to pick them up from school. I think maybe I might have just overreacted I am not sure.

How would you have handled it?

Anyways I am going to review an oldie but goodie

Boondock Saints- I think this movie makes you think about the ways of our world. I mean really the fact that mobsters and other people who bad are getting off is frankly just upsetting. This movie addresses the what would happen if two people got tired of the bad guys always winning. There are some truely funny parts to this movie but overall I think that this movie makes a pretty good point about our society. I think if you have not seen thise cult classic you should and if you do not like blood or guts you might not want to watch this movie.

Good night!

look what i can do!!!

So I have decided to write a childrens book. It was just somethign that came to me last night while I was on my way to bed. My brother and I have the most awesome imagination EVER and we use to make up stupid stories to tell each other very loudly while people were sitting next to us in public places...cant tell you how many people we use to scare randomly because we would be talking about unicorns and such like they really existed and flew in our windows at night.
Since I stopped doing FCC I am enjoying my children again they are freaking the most awesome people that ever existed. Nathan is slowly turning back into the little boy I know he can be which is polite and sweet and helpful. Lucas is loving that it's just me and him and Nathan and that he does not have to share mommy. So while I loved my job I dont think home daycare was a good thing for the kids. I can deal with that tho because they come first I can do other stuff to make money from home I am good at stuff I can work it out :)
I am working my way through mountain of laundry that I have to finish and I am not stressed about it at all so that also makes me feel good lol. Joe and I were kinda having some stupid fights but have calmed down and are back to our normal selfs. By that I mean we can fight and then everything is better an hour later just cause we feel like it. :) I love us this way. He probably wont be deploying which makes me sooooo happy I love having him around and Christmas will be totally awesome again this year because we will all be together in the states with our families and I dont have to rush right back to a stressful job. Although I will have school.
I got the pell grant!!! So I dont have to worry about paying for school and I will have extra money from the GI BILL. I think overall I am very excited that school is over done because trust me I am totally done with school lol.
I watched the movie Miss. Pettigrew lives for a day-I love it. I am in love with the movies from the 30's and 40's. There was a glimpse of some ass in the movie which if you know your black and white movies would not be allowed but overall the tone of the movie the message I thought was very awesome. Miss Pettigrew entered just for a day a world that she was much too old fashion for and that made her test her limits and made her stop judging the outside of people for once. She helped those around her realize their dreams and at the same time she found her knight in shining armor...she saved him from an evil witch and he saved her from living without him. I think you should all see this movie even if you dont like it...it will give us something to talk about :)
Thats it for me from this week I am off to finish cleaning and to get some more writing for my childrens book done and to do research on publishers :)

Slacker that I am

So the title says it all. The slacker that I am I have not seen any new movies therefore have nothing to contribute to my own review segment of my blog I feel like a failure. Ok not really I have children the fact that I even get to type out this blog is a freaking miracle.

This week was filled with penis....what do I mean by that you ask? Well my oldest (who is three and awesome) discovered that there is in fact a difference between him and girls and it's that he has a penis and shockingly enough he has put two and two together and realized that mommy is in fact a "gril". So all week in the random places that he tags along with me too I have had to deal with a very LOUD three year old saying "MOMMY I HAVE A PENIS!" followed very closely behind this statement is " Lucas has a penis, Daddy has a penis, Ashley is a gril, Daisy is a gril, your a gril" The weird looks and snickering as we stroll down the aisle are almost unbearable. If I was not such a dark person you would have seen the blush creeping across my cheeks.

How did I respond to my awesomely funny three year old? I told him...that he was right and

kept moving. Really there is nothing I can do over reacting just causes a louder lil voice to cry because he thought his new found knowledge was going to be accepted and he would be called genius. Because for him he is the first person to ever figure this out.

I bribe my children...I am proud of it. Nathan refused to talk to his teachers he had no problem with them just did not want to talk. So I decided that since our talks about talking to his teachers had done nothing to help that perhaps I needed to take a new approach-the bribe, what I did was I told him that if he spoke to his teachers at school that he could play his DS when he got home from school before dinner (yes the three year old has a DS I gave him my old one when I got my new one). He was so excited he had picked out a Dora game several weeks before but due to bad behavior was not able to play it. It worked like a charm! Everyday he comes and tells me he speaks with his teacher and I mention less and less about him being able to play if he talks now we just talk about him talking and he understands that he needs to speak up. So *sticks out tongue* it does work lol.

Lucas my youngest threw his first temper tantrum in public at the age of 14 months. He acted like the biggest ass that ever lived and I just let him do it. I got nasty looks a mother walked passed with HER one year old and said to hers "see we dont act like THAT" and I replied "Thats right we save it for home!" He was tired and didnt know what he wanted. He didnt want to be held he didnt want to sit in the cart nothing was working out so I let him cry while I attempted to find shoes for my oldest to wear in German kindergarten. He banged his head on the ground threw himself on the floor kicked and screamed. All things I walk over him at home for and I did it when we were in public. If i scoop him up just because we are out then he knows he can act like this when we are out and get away with it. Made that mistake with my oldest wont make it again. As it turned out he calmed down and I did pick him up gave him kisses and told him I loved him.....sigh only for him to do it again while I was holding him

Dude longest shopping trip EVER!

Go here people for the twilight New Moon trailer it's hott!

http://www.examiner.com/x-4908-Twilight-Examiner~y2009m6d1-The-Twilight-Saga-New-Moon-trailer-confirms-all-our-suspicions

It's my life....

So I am super close to my last day of work...like two days off and I get a visi t from the daycare police wanting to inspect my home. Why? I am quitting I am done dealing with their bullshit so why are they coming to bother me??

Whatever let it roll off my back.

So I am watching the series True blood with hubby which lets face it with all the sex the show has it makes for interesting viewing lol. Soft core porn to the fullest!!! BRING IT ON!!! ok I kid I kid.

This afternoon was shit filled...literally. Daisy the dog shit in her crate and then got it all over herself because it was the gross I'm sick kind. I am still trying to learn to be a dog person so when I have to search her for ticks or pick my poop give her bath I feel a tad grossed out....but thats the same feeling I get over my kids shit so I think I am doing good with her lol.

I am having fun running the spouses group so far and planning things. I have decided that I am tired of worrying about if others like me or hate me or if they are talking about me. It drives me crazy. I like my life and my family I guess if they are the only people I have to put up with how crazy I am and to listen to my troubles then I guess that is ok. I think I do stuff for people so they will want to invite me back because they know I will help them and then they will see how awesome I am and decide to be my friend. I am not sure how true this is tho cause I am seeing double and messing up every other word I type cause I am so freaking tired.

So I will go to bed and then look at this tomorrow like I am hung over and try to remember why I typed any of this and when I did it :)

Depressing thoughts at Midnight

So I have decided to really TRY and write my novel I found one that I honestly gave a good try a couple years ago. It was pretty good but I began over editing. I was snooping on a friends blog because I am egotiscal and wondering what she was saying about me and I found this awesome website for writers where you have to write a novel in a month. I thought this would be an awesome I idea. I am very good at getting my words on to paper it's when I begin reading everything over and start editing that I question my writing decisions. Something maybe this site will help me to stop doing.

I have been feeling judged lately. By everyone. I can feel the shifting in how people think about me. I do not like feeling like this wondering if I have friends or if they just keep me around to laugh and talk about me behind my back. I have always been a little unsure of myself and my standing with people as I have mentioned before. I worry that I will never have anyone I can just trust to love me outside of my family that lived with me the first 18 years of my life.

I wish I knew why I feel this way or why I care that I feel this way.

The best thing I have ever done is to be a mother. I feel bad sometimes like I am letting them down or like I am not doing the right thing teaching the right thing. But when my boys look at me with those big brown eyes I just know that I am going to keep on doing everything I can to make them safe and happy because for them I would do anything.

I feel lonely I am not sure I am doing the friend thing correctly. I want to invite people over I want to go places but I never seem to get invited back especially during the school year. I am running a spouses group and a playgroup to make friends and I still feel like I am just the boss and I am not being considered a friend which I miss having. I think I know when I cut myself off and I wish to not think about it this late at night because then I would never go to sleep.

As I write my novel I will post parts of it here to show you because while I may not have followers right now my hopes are that I will get some soon lol.

Things I think about

So I am waiting for the livingroom floor to dry so I can go and clean the kitchen. I am going to type up my week right about now. This coming up week is my last week of work. I am going back and forth between feeling like I am doing the best thing for myself and family and feeling like a quitter and a bad role model to my sons. But in the end I really know I am doing the best thing for them. Since I have come down off my stress cloud I have been able to firmly get a grasp on Nate and some of his problems at school. He seems more happy like his old self and not as resistant or stubborn. Joe confessed to feeling jealous of the attention I give to other things so I am very very sure he is happy that I am no longer working this job any longer.

The spouses group I am running is really taking off I am hoping that this really will be a good support system for the spouses let behind duriong deployments or tdy's. Joe might be leaving again so that story is to be continued. I watched some movies this week so let me review them-

Henry Poole-I loved it I mean it was meaningful and poetic piece about faith and allowing other people enter your life without shoving anything down your throat. I felt like I knew Henry poole and had felt some of what he was feeling when I was angry at the world and sad and tired and left wondering...why me? I think if you are a fan of indie flicks and love movies that are about something you should see this movie.

Last Chance Harvey-I this movie made me cry...I hate crying during movies and I will watch this one again because watching the relationship between Harvey and his daughter and Harvey and the new person he was getting to know was very touching.This movie is a coming of middle age tale lol. He finally gets the message that there is more to life than hustling at a job you hate. I think this is another feel good movie that has funny parts but leaves you thinking about if you put your life in the right order and could you be gracious enough to admit that you may have gotten the first half of your life wrong to your child.

True Blood (series)- Alright now I watched this during a Boones farm filled night and I am telling you I am still on the fence about this movie. I mean it has sex and drugs vamps and a shape shifter I mean really can you get much better than that? I think so the over the top southern accents and acting should really turn me off. Also the cliff hanging episodes and the way it seems to be a grown up sexier twilight. But really I am gonna call it what it is ...mind numbing entertainment and I suppose I need some of that so I will be buying the season one and waiting for the season two.

Underworld three-I thought it was alright I mean it was nothing we didnt already know from the first two movies. I kinda wonder why there NEEDED to be a third to explain an already explained story cant we find out if the war ended and if the two people were able to be together?

Well I think Ithat is it for now I will be watching more movies and series this week during the various projects I do around the house. YAY!!! If any of you have a suggestion for a movie to watch let me know and I will get it and watch it

Taken...

So I am going to review the movie Taken. It was freaking awesome I loved it. But I gotta question the intelligence of the criminals. I mean if someonespoke to you that calm over the phone would you really take their kid? I know I wouldnt. I also like that this movie totally had a moral to it. Which was that you can NOT trust everyone when you travel. I mean you can't act like everyone is out to human traffick you accross the border to sell you to someone for a million dollars. I mean lets face it half of us dont look good enough to be sold for a million dollars.

I mean look at me I bet with my milk jugs and the baby hanging off the hip I could easily get a million dollars. (LMAO).

So anyways the movie was awesome it was not too short not too long and the angles and blowing shit up and the lack of unnecessary dialouge in order to make room for the blowing shit up and beating of random asses makes the movie that much better in my eyes :). Next movie I will be watching will be Last Chance Harvey and Underworld three :).

So my life...Well I went to visit a Kindergarten called the House of Dwarfs which is pretty awesome I mean they do yoga with the kids and they let the kids give them cues for when they are ready to do things they teach the kids both english and german I am very confident that I am making a good choice for Lucas. I am also way sad that I have another kid that is capable of spending at least four hours out of my care because he is being weaned off of the boobs.

Found out that my oldest is the kid in the class that is difficult.I was not liking to hear that but I need to know so I can fix the problem. I am not one of those moms that is going to say "my kid is not like that!" Because my kid is totally like that. lol Hopefully this tough love crap I am laying on him helps to adjust his attitude!. Well thats my thoughts and reviews for the day. Catch ya on the flipside!

Mondays are long

Well today was a long freaking day let me tell you. I think mostly it seemed very long because my youngest thinks he just HAS to wake up every two hours every night. Mommy does not get any sleep you say? Well of course I can help with that! I will cry and she will come and get me and then I will stay up and play constantly until she has to be up for work and then go back to sleep :) Can I stay upset with face? The answer is no.lol

So I have been trying to figure out if I am going to be a good teacher when I am done with school. I mean I love working with children but I hate working with the adults. I mean these people seriously get on my nerves. I dislike dealing with know it alls, rude asses and people who are more worried about getting to the end of the day than educating the children. I can not stand that.

I have been thinking about how down on Obama everyone seems to be getting. I keep wondering what the hell everyone thought he was going to be able to do in such a short period of time. It seems like he suppose to have a magic wand that he could wave and fix the economy. Will people stop acting like he got the magic stick?! He is human man! Shit I wish money did grow on trees because I would have a whole shit ton of trees planted....but then if there was a such thing as money growing on trees we probably wouldnt NEED to have it then. hmmm something to think about.

So I have also been thinking about movie critics and wondering if they actually know what they are talking about when they review movies because I think of myself as having a pretty wide taste in movies. I think I can review movies so I think from now on I will watch a movie no matter when it was made old, new it does not matter and review it. My humble opinion may not mean much to others but it will give me something to do lol. I will start tomorrow. Tonight I am going to bed all these thought I had today have made me tired.

Night!

Mother's Day Fun!

Guess what I did for mother's day!?!? I bet you will never guess in a million years...I CLEANED. Oh yeah from top to bottom I dusted rearranged did dishes washed clothes made up beds. Cleaned bathrooms mopped floors swept and vaccumed and took care of two kids. I am exahusted all the way to the hilt right now.

Joe bought me a pretty awesome present tho. I was able to get a Swarovski ring and a lil crystal pig. It is soooo cute. My boys are awesome they were actually both pretty good today. My mom is sick and I feel bad that I am unable to help her more. I have not heard from my brother since he went to Korea and I am kinda getting worried. I am not sure how I am suppose to get in contact with him. I guess that is something for me to look up tomorrow.

I am so so excited about starting myself over without a job I was having increasingly bad feelings about and just being able to hang out with Lucas and Nathan again.

I am going to make a year book for my preschool I think they will love that as a going away present. Hopefully it comes out good.

I am thinking about putting Nathan in sports but I am not sure. I do not like the way sports are going....I hate how children are not allowed to experiance winning or losing and how they are all given trophies and allowed to walk the bases. Bullshit. I just spent alot of time teaching my son how to be a good winner and a good loser and now I let him play sports that will allow it to go down the drain? NO no no not going to happen.

Common sense did not win!

Alright so I work for Family Child Care for the government. Basicly it means I am allowed to run a daycare in housing. Well I am quitting after 6 months of working because I have never been so stressed out in all my life with these people. They are not environmentally aware at all of the impact that can be placed on the environment because of the rules they have in place.

When I had first started FCC I had switched my youngest son into cloth diapers gotten rid of our Paper towel usage and began using environmentally safe cleaning products. Well all of that went out the window when I began the home daycare. I was very disappointed but I at least was able to keep lucas in cloth diapers. (The only reason was because I got a doctors note).

I got a thick binder of stuff that I had to keep up with on a daily basis...I was assured that it was easy after the first month and that there really wasnt that much paperwork....oh the lies lol. I had so much paperwork and random stuff I needed to do that it was getting in the way of my homework. I kept bumping heads with the coordinators over the kids sleeping on mats because they were both one years old they were not staying on the mat but I was wrong of course. What newly turned one year was NOT going to stay on a mat and go to sleep. Also if you didnt know one year olds are old enough to sit at a youth table with three and four year olds. No really it does not matter that they will not actually sit and eat anything. Sigh I mean really.

So I also find out that I am being talked about with other providers. I am being talked about because they say I wasnt going to get my business off the ground because my preschool concept was too radical. I mean really thanks for blowing smoke up MY ass and then telling other providers different.

The whole program gave me enough work for three other people to do and felt that I should be able to do all of it while making sure the children are my primary concern. Which is where I decided to part ways with the program I felt the kids needed to come first that common sense needed to shine through but the coordinators do not see it that way. So really I think it was just best for me to start concentrating on school and my kids again because I was not happy with what was happening and I was not happy really at all anymore because I was so stressed out.

I think becoming a sub at the school will be a whole lot better for me in the end and will give the experiance I will need and I the flexibility I need so that I can take the tests for school and handle business for my playgroup and my spouses group.

Mother's Day Sucks

So I am going to have a craptastic mother's day....you know why? Because despite me reminding my husband about mothers day he forgot and I find myself having to go and buy my own present with two children in tow. I am not near my own mother and even if I was near her we are not doing alot of talking because...well she's freaking crazy. ok ok so I am crazy too but thats not the point the point really is that she is crazier than me lol.

So I have been dealing with my son not listening I mean he truly decides what he wants to do and does it because thats what he wants to do. I am at my wits end trying to be a good mother and understanding and setting boundaries and rules for him. I plan stuff for us to do together I speak to him all the time we get new books to read together I am buying him an expensive as hell bed to help him sleep better at night. I am just not breaking through the stubborn streak he has. Lucas is pretty good and I hardly have to say anything to him which really means he is only 1 years old and is not proficent enough to get into any trouble. Which to Nathan might seem like we like Lucas more because Lucas does not get in as much trouble. So yeah thats my parenting problems for now.

I have quit my job as a daycare provider. I had to do it I love my job but I think it might me some of the reason for Nathan acting out the way he has been. I also need more time to do my homework. I am starting my JR year of college and it's been super hard trying to deal with the fcc program and my homework. Dont even get me started on this stupid program. I will go into that another time.

Well I think thats it for now. I am off to get me and the kids dressed so that I can cash my checks and buy my own presents...cause it's fun to do that :)

Hello there...

Well I am blogging because I have no one that I can actually talk too. I am horrible at making friends and no matter what I do I cant seem to find the time to keep up dates that would help me to keep friends. I am the product of my childhood I grew up a military brat and make friends with the knowledge that they might move away from me. I dont want to make friends that way but I am 26 years old and lacking in the friends department. I am trying to plan my sons first birthday party and found that I have no one to attend because i am always working or doing homework. Right now I am feeling trapped by my chosen career (home daycare provider) because while I love my job its very isolating. I need a friend matchmaker lol.